Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I'm Blushing! My First Blog Award!

I would like to thank WTF Am I Thinking @ for giving me my first ever blog award. Happy Day! My husband thinks I'm a big dork for how excited I am, but it's the little things in life that puts a smile on my face.

So with this award comes some responsibility.  Here are the rules:
#1 Choose 5 up and coming blogs to pass the Liebster Blog to. Each blog must have less than 200 followers.
#2 Show your thanks and appreciation to the blogger that gave you the award by linking back to them.
#3 Share 5 random facts about yourself
#4 Post the award to your blog

5 Random Facts about Me:  
This is me!

1. I once ran over a homeless man in a wheel chair, but it turns out he could walk, and he wasn't homeless
2. I have a weakness for Doritos, nachos and candy that doesn't involve chocolate.
3. I have a degree in Political Science in which I don't use at all and owe like a billion dollars back in school loans. At least I learned how to shot-gun a beer.  
4. I have many guilty pleasures..General Hospital, Teen Mom, The Kardashians, The EChannel in general, Storage Wars, and any tattoo show. 
5. I am Vice President of Public Relations for a physical therapy company that incorporates a lot of Scientology ideology (Yes, think Tom Cruise, John Travolta, etc) It makes for interesting stories and allows me to learn things about myself that I never would have otherwise.  
***Plus since I'm in the mood, how about 2 bonus facts:
#1 I have seen a ghost and I believe in Mediums
#2 I love my Jacoby and Drew more than anything in this world. I had no idea that I could ever fall in love with anyone so much and the fact that I have two perfect little boys, it's a wonder that my heart has not exploded!

So it brings me great pleasure to send you over to to follow her blog. Thank you so much for recognizing me!

Please also pay a visit to the following fabulous blogs that I'm passing this award along to:
#1. My Daily Jenn-ism
#2 The Chirping Moms
#3 Cave Princess
#4 Living in A Creative Bliss
#5 Raising Bean

Have a lovely day!!

Monday, June 25, 2012

My MIL is an Alcoholic and It's Annoying as Hell

I wanted my blog to be a happy place about things that I enjoy, the adventures of motherhood etc. I was not planning to dwell on the negative as I believe there is enough awfulness in the world, that I don't need to add to it.  However, an event occurred over the weekend and I think the subject ought to be acknowledged since it has been on the forefront of my mind for the past couple of days.
Pretty much in a nut-shell, my mother-in-law is an alcoholic. She's depressed, anti-social, and sick to say the least. She is selfish as most alcoholics are and she is in complete denial of how her life really is.  I don't know when her alcoholism started but as far as I can tell it has been atleast 25 years or probably more.  She was a horrible, HORRIBLE, mother to Josh.  I don't think people really know how she was both physically and emotionally abusive toward him. Its a wonder that he didn't turn out more damaged than he all ready was.
I will give you a picture of her situation.  My MIL doesn't work, hasn't since Josh and his brother were kids, she doesn't drive either. She hardly does house work, hardly gardens, hardly cooks, hardly leaves the house. I think she plays on the computer A LOT and drinks A LOT and smokes A LOT. She has two dogs that she takes care of so of course that makes her day really difficult.  You know, reaching to open the sliding glass door so they can go out in the back pen takes a lot of effort. (can you tell that I'm bitter?? Yes, I am because it is hard to have affinity toward someone who has hurt someone you love so much).  She is sick all the time with colds, coughing, hacking, allergies, etc.  Why wouldn't she be as her immune system is shot to hell!  She isn't outwardly mean but she knows what to say at certain times that is actually really hurtful.  She thinks if she puts LOL at the end of a sentence that it won't come off that she's being a bitch.  She is being a bitch though and she is being hurtful on purpose.
Josh and his family have been through it all with her. They've done an intervention with her (one time-over 10 years ago), she has quit drinking, started drinking again and lied about it or has been open about it, she has been hospitalized from seizures. Just a bunch of craziness and drama that most of the family members talk about but not really ever directly with her.
I got pregnant and my brother-in-laws girlfriend was also pregnant around the same time. We all agreed that if she was drinking that there just wasn't a way that she could be around our kids, especially alone. She stopped drinking and was involved in our kids lives to a certain extent. Then the tell-tale signs came back; the weird phone calls or messages, the way her voice sounds, the lack of visiting our kids, the excuses why she couldn't be somewhere, the smell of alcohol on her breath.  No one would ever call her out on it though; Big Secret. Recently though she has admitted that she has beer around and Josh felt as though she can do what she wants. As long as she isn't lying about it than he doesn't really care. Just don't treat him like he's dumb.
Fast forward to this weekend.  Josh calls his mom to borrow a booster seat from her for Drew.  She is clearly wasted at 10:30 am.  Starts to bring up how she has all this baby gear that was never used because we never brought our kids over (Yah, no kidding lady, you are a drunk and we were never invited anyways).  Josh wants to lay into her but knows it's not worth it.  So we go to a graduation party and in the first 5 minutes I'm warned by a friend to not let my MIL hold my kids as she is drunk and has all ready fallen on the ground. How humiliating! My brother-in-law and Josh are embarrased by her and annoyed with her. I'm shocked that my father-in-law even brought her to the event.  She starts talking to me about helping her sell her baby stuff on eBay because of course I never brought the babies over and so it has never been used. I'm annoyed as hell.  I hate her tone and her accusations, but why get in it with her. She's a drunk. When my MIL leaves the party, my father-in-law has to have control over her body. He holds tightly on to her arm to lead her down the drive way. It's rather pathetic.
I talked extensively to Josh about it on Saturday night, how I think the situation needs to be confronted somehow. Understandably he is afraid of losing his relationship with his dad over it and he says, what good would it do anyways. Perhaps he's right.
Then last night my brother-in-law receives Facebook messages from her.  They aren't long, but there is a hint of hatefulness in there, but as usual, they are ended in LOL but we all see it for what it is.  So here we all are; talking about her again last night and she is again hurting Josh and my brother-in-law again whether they would like to admit it or not.  Everyone walks on egg shells around her. Her own mother will do anything to support her and couldn't bare the thought of losing her (she has all ready had one daughter die of cancer and has lost 2 husbands).  Josh's dad is as much as a victim as anyone, but he is the #1 enabler but feels responsible for her.  Probably easier to deal with her drunk than her being being a drunk without a drink.
 For me, being a person on the outside, I want to confront.  I want Josh's dad and his gram to open their eyes and see the true reality of what is going on here. She has caused immense pain in both her children, she is literally closer to death every day, for the life she lives she actually may as well be dead.  She is missing out on the lives of 3 wonderful grandchildren.  Her lifestyle is NOT NORMAL, SO WHY IS EVERYONE PRETENDING THAT IT IS?? 
I'm so frustrated by the whole thing and how everyone is around it. She is the problem, we are not! I want her to see what she has done, how she has ruined lives because of her drinking. I just want her to take some sort of responsibility and I want an acknowledgement from someone that it is time to do something about it or ties need to be cut for good.  The hurt and pain, the lies and the guilt trip needs to stop. I'm annoyed as hell and I'm angry. Can you tell? LOL (See what I just did there?)

For info on Alcoholics Annonymous

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Fantasy Beach Day

I love going to the beach but now having 2 kids it's a whole different type of fun. It takes about 2 hours to prepare everything. Need to pack a cooler, snacks, extra clothes, diapers, beach toys, towels, sunscreen, beach chairs, stroller, etc.  Then I need to change the boys into their bathing suits, lather them in their sun tan lotion, get their sandals on, make sure they have gone to the bathroom, swim diaper is on, hats are located, etc.
 I have to then get myself ready which is usually a rush (at this time boys and husband are anxiously waiting to get to beach). I have tossed up my hair up in a very unsexy/unbeacy pony tail, I have some lame bathing suit on that I found tucked way in the back of my bureau and throw on anything decent I can find to wear over it, and some flip flops and sunglasses and that will have to do.  If I'm lucky my nails/toes will be painted. My cuteness factor is definitely lacking. 
Then coming home it's the unpacking of all the above items, cleaning up 10 pounds of sand and then preparing for dinner and bath/bed time. Despite all this work it is well worth  seeing the boys play in the sand and in the water and to see them so happy. Family beach day is super fun, but it is not exactly relaxing for my husband and I. So here is my beach day for just me!

victorias secret
Super cute bathing suit!  I can have the body along with it right??

polka dot nail polish
Love polka dots for summer!  

perfect beach coverup
Perfect pants cover up.  So cozy!
Perfect beach hair
Perfect beach hair.  

I love my Ipod and I'm always listening to it.
Beach music is a must!

OK! Magazine HOT DEAL!!!!
Very important reading material

Summer Cocktail !
Delicious Summer cocktail!

david beckham
Beach Partner?? 


Would you care to join me??

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My Boys Becoming Playmates *swoon*

Jacoby is 3 1/2 and Drew is 19 months. It makes my heart swell to see them playing together and having fun!

Their little happy faces just kill me.  I swear they are some day going to literally make my heart explode. I hope they will always know how lucky I feel to have them and how lucky they are to have each other...(Oh, God, here comes the tears.  I should have left it wordless!)

Friday, June 15, 2012

We Were Like Peas and Carrots

My best friend in High School was Miranda. During that time Forest Gump was popular so we always coined ourselves as being like peas and carrots (I was the pea, she was the carrot!). We were inseparable four most of our 4 years of high school.  We did the typical BFF things, hung out every weekend, talked all night on the phone during the week, laughed with eachother until we thought our stomachs would burst, had constant boy talk, and  we shared our secrets, dreams and fears.
We are prob 15 here and getting ready for Winter Carnival . I am the one sitting.

Then of course during our senior year, our friendship started to strain a little bit. We were both going off to college at different schools. She started to date a guy that I had been really close with (no interest in me!!) so things were just a little weird.  We saw each other a few times during our college years but after that we totally lost touch.

I had heard from a few friends over the years that Miranda was asking about me, wanting to know where I lived, what I was up to, etc.  Then one day I get a message on Facebook from her and she is so happy to have found me. I was happy she had too. I had no hard feelings towards Miranda at all. It was just one of those things that happened in life as far as I was concerned. Come to found out at a playdate later, she thought I was mad at her and her boyfriend (who she was no longer with when we reconnected) had told her that I was a bad influence on her so we couldn't be friends. WTF! 
 Anyways, it's funny how lives can run so parallel...our sons were the same age and were born a few weeks apart, we had the same quirky cell phone, she is a Physical Therapist, I handle public relations at a physical therapy company.  I got pregnant with my second child and she did 6 months later. So we have resumed a friendship and have play dates whenever our schedule and kids' health allows it. 
Then last weekend, I went to her daughter's first year birthday party. As I drove home I was thinking about the party and how my kids were playing with her kids.  Who knew that this was all going to transpire..I am so happy that we are apart of each others lives again and I'm able to share these special moments with her.  We may not be the BFFs that we were in high school, but she knows apart of me that no one else will ever know and that makes this unexplainable bond between each other. So to me, I'm still the pea and she is still the carrot.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My Patience is Lacking. I Want Results!

It has been 12 days since I started running and the number on the scale has stayed the same. Ugh! I even tried moving the scale to a different part of the floor to see if it changed. It did not.

 This is so maddening! How could this be?? I thought my stomach felt a little flatter! I even stopped drinking my nightly 3 Smirnoff Ice as I found out those bad boys pack 260 calories a piece. Yikes! (Josh bought me the Party Pack on Sunday. He said, what's the big deal, I'm running now so I can drink it. I have had two and I swear as I gulp it down I feel my ass growing!) I stopped eating the left over food from my children's plates and I have been trying to cut down on my portions. Still the fat is sticking!

I'm frustrated that not even a pound has been lost. In the past if I incorporated running into my life, I saw results right away..this time not so much! Blah..I must run more! I haven't even been able to run everyday because it rained here for almost a week straight. The most I have run is 1 3/4 miles, which was today..  I have very limited on time to run, so my time out hasn't been as long as I have wanted so I will work on trying to figure it into a bigger time slot next week.
Admittedly even before I was writing this blog, my arm was elbow deep in a bag of Tostitos, so there are more areas to improve. I also might have to incorporate sit ups and push ups, lunges and squats into my routine, but I will give running more of a chance to make an impact. I mean, it has to right?!?
On the bright side, I do feel good after running and really feel like I accomplished something for just me, so that is something positive to occur after these 12 days. I also continue to  look forward to the next day for when I can do it again.
Deep down I know what I'm doing is right and is good for me and I will ultimately see results. I just expected more than what I got and was I was disappointed as I anxiously brought out the scale.  So for now, I will keep on running because it is making me happy and I will make sure I don't try on my "skinny" clothes too soon so as not to lose my patience even more!

Monday, June 4, 2012

My Top 5 Pinterest Pins

I absolutely love Pinterest!  When I was first introduced to Pinterest, I was like finally, a website that has been designed just for me!!  I have gotten so many great ideas from Pinterest from recipes to nail polish design, hair styles, to kid craft ideas, etc. Some things I pin on Pinterest are just wish-items or things that I think are so awesome I feel a great need to share with others, or things that I hope some day to try! 

Here Are Some of My Top 5 Pinterest Pins
#1. Paper Umbrella Wreath: For some reason, I thought this was so cute and great for a summer party. I'm the least crafty person ever, so anything that looks remotely easy is good for me.
#2 Hot Pink Nike Sneakers: Love them! I should have these.  Make note to self to tell husband.
#3 Smoky Eye Makeup: No matter what tutorial I see, I still can't manage to get the smoky eye thing right, but I think it looks soooo great!
#4 Arm Sleeve Tattoo: This is such a great tattoo! So bright and feminine.  It also reminds me that I need to get my sleeve finished.
#5 Kitchen Area: I have always liked kitchens where there is an island and stools. I think it is so homey and inviting. Plus I love how everything is so white and bright (although white is not such a good choice with 2 boys) I just imagine sitting in this space with a nice hot latte and it pleases me :)

Friday, June 1, 2012

Yesterday You Said Tomorrow..(Yup, Still Fat)

I've had enough of my inner thighs touching, my arms jiggling, and my lower belly pooch! Yuck!  I don't think what I have can be considered post-partum baby fat, as now said baby is 18 months old!  My schedule is kind of crazy: during the week day, I wake up at 4:20 am and between work, taking care of my kids, making dinner, cleaning up, and bed time routines, I usually am not done with things (as if things are ever really done, but you get the point) until around 8:30 pm.  Well, at that point I'm certainly not in any mood to start working out! So making that time for myself is difficult. After baby # 1, I lost all baby weight plus some, but baby # 2 has been slightly different and I've had this extra 10 lbs of jiggle that has been lingering on. Now, 10 lbs may not seem like a lot to many people, but I'm only 5'3" and that extra is very apparent to me.  I consider myself to be skinny-fat.  So yes, I may be in my targeted healthy weight range but I have zero muscle tone!  Plus through the past few months my thighs (problem area) seem to be growing larger and larger which I attribute to my new found love of Smirnoff Ice at night.
All winter I said I was going to start working out. I don't have time to go to a gym and finding the motivation at home just wasn't happening.  I kept putting it off and putting it off.  Well, now summer is here and I'm fed up. I'm finally ready to get it started.  I have even managed to get Josh to help me with the boys so I have time to escape and go for a run; running has always been the easiest way for me to lose some fat and tone up a little. So tonight, I went out and ran a decent mile and a half. It felt great being out on a warm evening, running to Eminem in my iPod (plus I was able to run without peeing my pants and that was an added I felt so great when I was done and am looking forward to making a better me and gaining my confidence back.  So there is no more saying I will start tomorrow.  Tomorrow has arrived and I'm ready.